Rodriguez also points out that hermits living in the city are typically more reclusive and may be artistically inclined, perhaps identifying with the anonymity characterizing the city as a whole. “Being a hermette in the city means having a version of a cave-some awesome place… your own private retreat-and having the glamor of a self-directed existence in a city where you never feel lonely being alone.” Unlike the wilderness hermits who identified with nature, Mickenberg and her fellow hermettes adopted a new way of life in big cities. By being anti-social, we are being pro-individual.” “We enjoy the company of others who don’t enjoy others’ company,” says Mickenberg. They get together only when they are really sick of other people and want to fortify their determination to be left alone. Like the community, the secret society rarely visits the outside world. The group now has over 30 members all over the world, from Scotland, Germany, Mexico, Greece, and India. In 2019, Mickenberg launched Hermette Magazine, a lifestyle “publication” for aspiring lady hermits in New York. I think taking charge of your own happiness and taking responsibility for it is great.” A lot of women blame men for their unhappiness. “I definitely think you can have more intimate relationships with more people. Mickenberg wishes to change people’s perception of female aloneness. “I think most women are hermits originally, but we’ve been socialized to believe that we have to be devoted to another person,” she reasons, before joking, “I remember thinking to myself just to be a normal person and get married but later I realized that maybe I want to get married just so I can get divorced.” Mickenberg did not want to conform to the social roles imposed on women. The 55-year-old once went to see a therapist and shared her dilemma of whether or not to have children, but when the therapist sympathized with the traditional motherly role, she stormed off. Living alone in Manhattan’s West Village for over five years, Mickenberg says she used to be afraid of living in solitude, and was jealous of friends who had children. “People see them as self-centered, anti-social, hostile, cynical, fearful of people, and uncooperative.” “The society holds many misunderstandings toward hermits,” Rodriguez argues. “Hermette” derives from hermit, and according to Robert Rodriguez, author of The Book of Hermits (2021), hermits are those who live in solitude or in a small social circle. “I feel liberated when I am all alone.”Ī creative director at a major advertising agency for over two decades, Mickenberg grew tired of the crazy hours in a corporate environment and left to become a “hermette” after her first solo trip to Maine in 1999. “Nobody can reach me through this phone as it gets zero reception,” she says. Stroking the wooden keypad, Mickenberg gives a proud smirk.
Several phone-shaped hunks of wood decorate the table. The only sound that can be heard is the buzzing of the radiator. Computers and phones are nowhere to be seen.
Her unruly silver hair stands in stark contrast to the sanctity of her ritual. Floating around her “cave” in her indigo linen robe, Risa Mickenberg burns sandalwood incense.
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